nameless & faceless

FUCK YOU I like my hair straight

Why am I afraid to admit I have emotions?

I understand that we can’t be secret best friends forever but I would hope at some point we could grow, as human beings do, and that at some point in time others would accept our friendship, that you and I would accept our friendship. It’s obvious it’s not going anywhere anytime soon, no matter how hard I try to fight it. I can push you away all I want with all the manipulative, conniving things I do but you just don’t care. You’re always there. I wonder if you feel the same about me.

Humans baffle me. Is this even real life? Someone save me from this crazy world. I feel like an alien on a strange planet. 👽

Fuck. I want that electric shock therapy like nothing else right now.

Sometimes I get tired of putting up this front. But I don’t feel safe anywhere right now. I don’t have a happy place. Why not? Why don’t I deserve happiness and safety? I’m still so young. I should be able to have fun without worrying about this all.

Ow. My heart hurts and I do not know why

Lala

I don’t like having time to think to myself. Because I realize what a fucking mess my life is. I want to get away and go somewhere far away. I wish there were a place that could erase your memory. That could take back everything I’ve ever known and felt. You don’t deserve those thoughts or feelings, you don’t deserve those actions. But I’m a nice person, and I’m okay with being charitable. I miss the fun we had. Come cuddle and kiss me. Come tell me it was all a nightmare. Even though it wasn’t. I’m well aware it wasn’t. I wish things played out the way you said they would, as if we were in a movie. But I don’t think even I have the heart to bring you back into my life more than where you are now. You don’t even deserve the little part you have in my life now. You don’t deserve what little space I give you in my head. Although at the moment you’ve managed to squeeze your big fat head into my small simple one.

I’m just like every other girl. I fell in love and I got hurt, but that doesn’t mean I need to broadcast that on every social networking site. I fell in love, and I thought I would only do that once. But lucky for me, I now know that’s not a once in a lifetime kind of thing. I gave him something special that I could only give once, but he gave me the same in return. It makes my skin crawl but I have to accept it and move on. He didn’t deserve it but I gave in, like every other girl. I’m nothing out of the ordinary. This is life.